When you’re a child of divorce, holiday celebrations can come with a lot of baggage.


Check out this first-person article about new Thanksgiving “traditions” (it’s older, but still appropriate).

[click the turkey]


“On a holiday devoted to gratitude, it makes sense to let go of grudges, set aside differences and focus on the positive.”

~~~ Aisha Harris


…or check out these posts:

A divorced parents’ guide to surviving Thanksgiving without your kids

A Guide to Surviving Thanksgiving with Divorced Parents

The Truth About Thanksgiving With Divorced Parents

For Grown Children Of Divorce, Holidays Are Always Half-Full


To learn more about the Collaborative Divorce process, contact one of the Professionals at Bridges Collaborative Divorce Solutions.


If you want to avoid an expensive divorce, the biggest piece of advice is to figure out a way the two of you can work together. If you go to mediation and or use the Collaborative Divorce process, you can find agreement the issues without the expense of a courtroom fight. Collaborative Divorce attorneys are a vital piece of the puzzle. The Collaborative Divorce process can provide a big savings, as it reduces the attorney’s billed hours for phone calls, email, and the litigation process.

What Makes a Divorce Cost So Much?

Every time an attorney goes into a courtroom on your behalf, your divorce costs rise. For a typical trial assignment, for example, an attorney can be in the courtroom for an hour before finding out what judge will be hearing your trial the following day, or if they even have availability. When you go in for trial, the court may be behind schedule and you could be billed for hours of your attorney’s time before the trial even begins. If you are working with your spouse and not going to court frequently, you can save thousands of dollars. Working on your divorce with the Collaborative Divorce team means no court appearances, fewer arguments between attorneys (which can also be a costly issue!), and a lower level of stress for all involved.  For example, in many traditional litigated divorce cases, one spouse will contact their attorney to call the opposing party’s attorney, to notify the other parent about what time to pick up the child if there is a schedule change. That kind of communication gets very expensive for the entire family. Each attorney has had a conversation with his or her client, a conversation with the other (time billed), and at least an email or phone to his/her client. Each client has now paid for a minimum of three interactions. In the Collaborative Divorce process, by contrast, the parties would address this issue at an already-scheduled meeting, and would entail one parent notifying the other of a schedule change, and that parent saying okay. Furthermore, the Collaborative Divorce process helps parents to develop good communications skills so they would most likely have been able to have this entire communication without any help from their attorneys at all. In this sense, collaborating saves a lot of time, stress, and money.

Tips to Prevent Problems from Escalating

There are many different ways to communicate successfully.  In the Collaborative Divorce process, a mental health professional is part of the team and helps parents to learn better ways to communicate.  The mental health professional in a Collaborative Divorce case is often referred to as a communication coach or divorce coach.

Talking through unmet needs and areas where communication is breaking down will help you get back on the right track quickly. The attorneys in the collaborative process help their clients find ways to communicate well. In this process, clients and attorneys also have the help of a divorce coach, who can help teach ways to engage in a conversation without accusing or becoming defensive. These skills go a long way toward learning to interact in a way that will benefit both parents, and their children, long after the divorce has been finalized.

When you want to avoid an expensive divorce, being open to the idea of working together is the first step. This does not mean you and your spouse have to agree on everything to choose a collaborative process. There will still be some conflict and disagreements, which is completely to be expected. Divorce is never an easy or inexpensive undertaking. What parties need in order to have a successful collaborative process is an experienced team and a willingness to work together and the ability to empathize with one another. If they have that, the divorce can move more smoothly and the level of conflict and cost will be kept to a minimum.


Myah Kehoe, Attorney at Law / Mediator
Kehoe Moneyhun Law, LLC

319 SW Washington St., Ste. 614
Portland, OR  97204

2005 SE 192nd Ave., Ste. 200
Camas, WA  98607

Myah’s Website
Email Myah


The International Academy of Collaborative Professionals (IACP) has been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize 2023, for international efforts to transform the way families resolve conflict.

We, at Bridges, are all members and supporters of the IACP. It is the pinnacle of our local, state, and national organizations. The announcement was made last weekend at the annual Forum where Collaborative professionals, mostly in family law, come from all over the world to teach, learn, reflect, bond, celebrate and have fun together. This is how the Collaborative movement has evolved from its birth in 1991 when two lawyers had the courage to meet together with their clients in a conference room around one table to resolve a divorce dispute. The lawyers had to request permission from the local court to even try such a thing without running the risk of a bar complaint for violating rules of professional conduct. Now, only 30 years later, those practices are worthy of Nobel Peace prize nomination. How inspiring!

What is it about Collaborative practice, including Collaborative mediation, that contributes to peacemaking? My take is that peace is a perspective which comes from understanding and compassion.

The necessary ingredients of understanding are looking at more than the legal aspects of the divorce by emphasizing the financial, emotional, and relational aspects of the transition as well. Understanding is looking at more than the superficial information and automatic reactions to see what is behind and below them. What is really motivating the conflict and how is it to be addressed? This kind of understanding comes from what has historically been considered other separate disciplines. By now they have become part and parcel of every Collaborative case by using different professionals and, because we cross-train, we all have a measure of knowledge and appreciation for the emotional, financial, and relational issues to refer to other disciplines in a multi-disciplinary approach.

Next with calm reflection we learn to appreciate the change in perspective that understanding brings. It moves us from anger and judgment to compassion for ourselves and others. From this space decision-making is a lot easier and becomes constructive for all parties, including the children.

Peace is a perspective, a different way of looking at things. It’s a knowing that comes from new information and understanding. It’s a way of being.  If you find this in times of trouble and carry it with you in other relationships and interactions, the world will change to be a more peaceful place. This starts at the root of society – the family, where we first learn how to live.  Even when parents are separated and divorced, what are we teaching our children?  How to live in peace with compassion, no matter what the circumstances, within the boundaries of decency and care.

This will expand through our natural connections with others, to other countries and cultures. It’s already happening. And we’re proud to be part of this movement.


Dona Cullen, Attorney at Law / Mediator
Certified Divorce Financial Analyst
5200 Meadows Rd Ste 150
Lake Oswego, OR 97035

Dona’s Website
Email Dona