I picked up a little book at my daughter’s house last week while riding out the ice storm and long power outage here in Oregon. The author was Thich Nhat Hanh, a beloved peacemaker. The title was How to Fight. * How can that be?? Thay (his familiar name) points out when someone says something […]
The International Academy of Collaborative Professionals (IACP) has been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize 2023, for international efforts to transform the way families resolve conflict. We, at Bridges, are all members and supporters of the IACP. It is the pinnacle of our local, state, and national organizations. The announcement was made last weekend at […]
Jim O’Connor set the stage for negotiation by focusing on the future rather than the past in his recent blog – https://bridgesdivorce.com/negotiating-with-your-partner/ Let’s carry that forward using the steps of a collaborative or mediation process. High End Goals We start with goals for the process and for yourselves. What matters most to you? […]
What is a Financial Neutral? A financial neutral is a member of a collaborative divorce team or a mediator who helps couples find, organize and understand their financial information and facilitates a process of educating, visioning and creating a plan for settlement. They often have the designation “Certified Divorce Financial Analyst” (or CDFA). What are […]
Many people are paralyzed by fear when contemplating a divorce. Most often the fear is about money. It’s either a fight, flight or freeze response. But there is another possibility, and that’s empowerment. That’s the power created by two autonomous people with a shared vision for the future. I’m calling it the Third Power (1+1=3) […]
What Does That Mean? Peacemaking means processing differences in a way that results in resolution. It’s not the absence of conflict. It’s an appreciation of conflict as an opportunity to rise to a higher level of function and satisfaction. Conflict comes up naturally within ourselves and in relationship to others. It’s caused by unexamined habits, […]
As obvious as they are, the elements of a constructive divorce become obstructed from view by the emotional intensity of the experience. It is all too easy to stop caring about what happens and start justifying destructive behavior. It is easy to get trapped in spiraling hostilities. Copy this, print it out and paste it on your […]
The American Rescue Plan Act of 2021 was signed into law on March 12, 2021 for the purpose of addressing the financial fall out for so many families from COVID 19. The provisions range from agriculture and nutrition assistance to education and health care, housing and homelessness, business loans, unemployment and tax provisions as well […]
COVID-19 is guiding us to see inefficiencies and find new ways to help ourselves and others. We hear a lot about energy efficiency in cars and conserving fuel usage. But we don’t think as much about energy as our life force and conserving it for times like this when we need it to survive, thrive […]
What is resilience? Resilience is the capacity to prepare for, recover from and adapt in the face of stress, challenge and adversity. These challenges are certainly present in divorce. Stress is present in daily life to an ever increasing extent, from technology and the speed at which we expect ourselves to perform. Stress inhibits our […]
In the medical field we hear a lot about preventive medicine. Have you heard of preventive law? The term was first coined by Louis Brown in the 40’s and 50’s. The idea is that through teaching and conditioning, legal problems may be averted and health in that area maintained. We, at Bridges, have the […]
Finding and Working from our Higher Selves That’s the part of ourselves that’s more relaxed and less fearful. It’s where we make our best decisions creating outcomes that are highest and best for ourselves and the whole. We find that part of ourselves by getting quiet, through prayer and meditation, exercise, being in nature, doing […]
It’s wedding season and there are many preparations for the joyous day. Have you thought about a prenuptial agreement? It’s becoming more and more relevant for reasons you probably haven’t thought of. Here are 7 good reasons for a Prenup 1) Prenups Strengthen Relationships: A prenup is an agreement about things that will come up […]
Negotiation requires listening to different perspectives that often conflict with how we see ourselves and our world. This is feedback. It’s hard to give and hard to take. Why is feedback so hard? Because of our insecurities. Why is feedback so important? For the mutual benefit of understanding, to make positive changes in how we behave and […]
Welcome back, Dona! Dona Cullen has returned from Phoenix, Arizona / ASU Mercado, where she took a 2-day course on Facilitation Skills for Collaborative Professionals. Her instructors were Rita Pollak, JD and Catherine Tornbon. ~~~ Dona Cullen, Attorney at Law / Mediator Certified Divorce Financial Analyst 5200 Meadows Rd., Ste. 150 Lake Oswego, OR 97035 […]
Why I do this work? I am passionate about families and peacemaking. My practice is to create a professional /friendly, efficient/thoughtful, thorough/forward- looking process empowering couples to make the best decisions possible while saving time and money. I emphasize financial clarity with Family Law Software and constructive communication as a peacemaking practice trainer and certified […]
