Since the 1970’s, about 50% of marriages in the U.S. have ended in divorce. Most couples experience divorce as expensive, slow and adversarial. Long-term studies show that children suffer harm when their parents are in conflict. Couples who must divorce deserve a way to end their marriage that minimizes the harm to all family members. Now, there is one.
Collaborative Divorce is a “new” way for divorcing couples – especially those with children – to re-structure their families without court intervention [envisioned by Stu Webb around 1990].
In a Collaborative Divorce, the participants agree to resolve their disputes in a respectful manner, rather than hiring adversarial lawyers or letting a judge decide important questions about their family. Each spouse works with a lawyer who has special training in techniques to help the couple design the best possible result for the family. Rather than warriors or hired guns, Collaborative Attorneys are more like legally-trained diplomats. They model for their clients a commitment to honesty, dignified behavior and mutual respect (which can be especially hard for divorcing couples to do on their own at this point in their relationship).
The Collaborative Team often includes other neutral specialists with skills the parties need to effectively resolve their issues. This may include divorce coaches (to help spouses communicate more effectively), a child specialist (identifying what the children need from the process) or a financial analyst (assisting in developing the best long-range plan for sharing the family’s assets). Each professional works only within his or her area of expertise. This results-oriented team may reduce financial costs compared to a fight-it-out divorce.
Any couple that wants a civilized, respectful way to resolve their issues.
Those who want to maintain a working relationship after the dissolution.
Those who can put their children’s interests first.
Those valuing privacy and maintaining control over their family’s issues.
Those that are able to focus on a better future rather than being stuck in a painful past or present.
A Collaborative Divorce contributes to a better quality result that allows everyone to heal and get on with life. A traditional litigated divorce can be so painful that the couple just wants to “get it done,” leaving lasting scars, especially on the childrens. Collaborative Divorce provides a safe container where the family has the time and expertise to “get it right” and meet everyone’s needs. This approach usually pays many benefits over the years and for decades to come.
L to R: Jo, Dona, Myah, Tonya, Pete, Jim, Diane, Gail, Meg, Lee (Randy, not pictured)
